Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Five Dumbest Arguments for God

Today it's a bit of fun – my top-five stupidest arguments for God and/or religion. There are a lot more, but these are the ones that really bug me.

1. If it makes me really happy, it must be true

This is best captured by the Heaven meme: You make up some cool story that says, "You don't really die, you go to this magical place where you'll live forever in eternal bliss." And you tell this story, over and over, to little children. And they really, really want to believe it, because it's really a cool story! So it must be true, because it would make use really sad if it wasn't.

2. If I say it often enough, it must be true

Also known as Proof by Repeated Assertion. If people don't believe you, just say it again ... and again, and again and again, and get other people to say it, and pretty soon everyone starts to believe it. Most people want to fit in, to be part of the crowd, and if everyone else believes, and is saying something is true, then it must be true!

3. If everyone believes it, it must be true

This was, and continues to be, a serious claim by Christian apologists! They say that so many people believe in Jesus' divine birth and resurrection, in God and Mary, that it couldn't possibly be wrong. They claim that you could fool some people, or even quite a few people, but if millions of people believe something, logic dictates that it must be true.

So let me get this straight: If I can convince enough people that the moon is made of green cheese, then the moon will actually BECOME GREEN CHEESE! Very cool!

4. If you can't prove it's wrong, it must be true

Also known as, "You can't PROVE that God doesn't exist!" This argument is one of the favorites of theists when they're trying to prove that an Atheism is a "faith" just like belief in God. Never mind that this is a grave philosophical error that would get you booted out the door of your freshman philosophy class. It's been refuted so widely and resoundingly that Christian web sites caution "the faithful" not to use this argument any more ... but they still do.

5. If I believe it, it must be true

Seriously. I've heard people say this, although it's just slightly disguised: "We know the Bible is God's inerrant word, because He wouldn't lead us down the wrong path." Or, closer to home, I heard a Church of Christ member claim that their specific doctrine had to be correct, because "we trust God, and know He wouldn't mislead us."

I guess God doesn't feel the same about the rest of the hundreds of millions of Christians around the world who don't go to the Church of Christ.


  1. 6. If I'm wrong and you are right, you and I are dead. If I'm right, then you're fucked.

  2. Brilliant, you pretty much summed it up.


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