This isn't a trivial question or a joke. A couple days ago I had one of those "Aha!" moments in which I realized there is an incredible parallel between how religion works and how abusive men keep their victims in line.
Read the following statements, and see what you think. Can you tell God from a wife/child abuser?
| Victims feel unworthy. | Christians feel unworthy. |
| Victims feel guilty. | Christians feel guilty. |
| Victims blame themselves for things they didn't do. | Christians blame themselves for things they didn't do. |
| Victims feel that when bad things happen to them, they're being punished. | Christians feel that when bad things happen to them, they're being punished. |
| Victims feel responsible for the abuser's anger and unhappiness. | Christians feel responsible for God's anger and unhappiness. |
| Victims want to appease their abuser. | Christians want to appease God. |
| Victims get huge rewards from a tiny morsel of approval from the abuser. | Christians get huge rewards from a tiny morsel of approval from God. |
| Victims have an inexplicable love for and attachment to the abuser. | Christians have an inexplicable love for and attachment to God. |
| Victims reject advice from anyone who doesn't like the abuser. | Christians reject advice from anyone who doesn't like God. |
| Victims claim that their relationship with the abuser is normal and healthy. | Christians claim that their relationship with God is normal and healthy. |
Now try it for God vs. the abuser...
| An abuser doesn't let anyone question his authority. | God doesn't let anyone question his authority. |
| An abuser demands unquestioning obedience. | God demands unquestioning obedience. |
| An abuser threatens you with great harm if you don't do what he says. | God threatens you with great harm if you don't do what he says. |
| An abuser claims that you're unworthy, but that he will forgive you. | God claims that you're unworthy, but that he will forgive you. |
| An abuser says you're a bad person even though you never do anything wrong. | God says you're a bad person even though you never do anything wrong. |
| An abuser uses both fear and love to bind his victims to himself. | God uses both fear and love to bind his victims to himself. |
This is weird. It's almost like someone designed it – a case of "Intelligent Design" of religion! But those of us who study cultural evolution and memetics know that such things can arise naturally, with no conscious design. Religious memes that work are the ones that survive, and for some reason it's easy to teach a human to be a victim.
Maybe that's why there is so much abuse in our society. Our training starts early.
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A really nice summation of the parallels! Thanks. Here's a video along comparable lines. http://camelswithhammers.com/2009/12/25/christmas-daily-hilarity/
ReplyDeleteCamels ... LOL! That video is a hoot!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very good article that should be shown to as many people as possible. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThanks Nikolaos! I've written over 300 blogs, but this one is now one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteYou, sir, are genius. Thank you for posting this. Will spread the word.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I am a pastor of a church and I agree that a victim mentality is common in the church. Most parishioners that battle with this mentality do so because of shameful experiences in their past and not because of their belief in God.
ReplyDeleteYou say, “Christians blame themselves for things they didn't do.” The Bible says that Jesus took the blame and punishment for all sin thus providing forgiveness that is available to all. If you have studied Christianity you would know this to be true. Therefore what would it profit a believer to blame themselves for something they didn’t do? This is silly.
You say, “Christians feel that when bad things happen to them, they're being punished.” The Bible says that our punishment fell on Jesus (via the cross) – ALL OF IT! Sure there are consequences for actions (this is not a religious concept, it’s a natural law of sowing & reaping) but God does not punish believers for their sins. This would cheapen the crucifixion of Christ. If a Christian believes that when something bad happens to them that they are being punished then they don’t truly understand the gospel (the good news) they are operating under religion and not the truth of the Bible.
You say, “Christians feel responsible for God's anger and unhappiness.” Who says that God is angry and unhappy? If you go back to the teaching of the puritans you will find much teaching on the justice/anger of God – but even then, how are Christians responsible for this? How did you even come up with this one? The truth is, GOD is in a good mood. He loves us, John 3:16, the gospel in a nutshell: GOD LOVES THE WORLD. He’s not bummed out!
You say, “Christians want to appease God.”
This very statement is a contradiction to the Biblical definition of what it means to be a Christian or Christ-like. When you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord - his atonement and sacrifice makes propitiation (Romans 3:24-25) for ALL of your sin thus appeasing God. For a Christian to attempt to appease God through good works is an insult to GOD. "We are loved therefore we obey," not "we obey therefore we are loved".
For any readers who want to dive into the basics of Christianity simply google these words: Atonement, Justification, and Propitiation... You will see how radically different Christianity is from all the World’s religions.
You say, “Christians have an inexplicable love for and attachment to God.” Inexplicable means “incapable of being explained, interpreted, or accounted for” – you apparently have never met someone whose life has been changed by God. Life change (with a track record) explains everything.
You say, “Christians reject advice from anyone who doesn't like God.” This is just dumb. I don’t mean to be harsh but this statement is completely false. Where would you come up with this? The most influential voices speaking into Christian church leadership circles are from people who don’t believe in God. Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell, Guy Kawasaki, are being booked to speak at Christian church leaders conferences throughout the year, and throughout the USA. Christians accept advice from wise people – it’s Biblical – read your Proverbs.
You say, “Christians claim that their relationship with God is normal and healthy.”
You got this one right :).
Craig – if you get your facts from right-wing conservative abortion picketers then you may have great points here. But don’t define Christianity by those nut jobs on the fringes. Get your facts from the source, The Bible. Read Galatians and Romans in the Bible and you will see how all your arguments are addressed in detail. Read about Jesus in Matthew–John and you will see that he is a easy guy to hate if you are religious and an easy guy to love if you are authentic. Thank you for reading this objectively – I look forward to your response. I honor you for your passion and consistency.
Pastor Stott - Thank you for your long and thoughtful comments. I don't have time for a full response now, but I'd like to point out that if you had done your research, you'd find I've addressed almost every one of your points in previous blogs. I'm not one to bang out some blog without doing my homework. I've probably read at least as much about the Bible and its history as most pastors such as yourself.
ReplyDeleteTo address just one of your points: "The Bible says that our punishment fell on Jesus (via the cross) – ALL OF IT!" I wrote about that here:
http://religionvirus.blogspot.com/2010/04/hitchins-on-immorality-of-jesus.html
I invite you to peruse all of my blogs. And I'm sure you'll find my book (www.thereligionvirus.com) interesting too, if you feel like learning why Christianity became what it is today.
If I might take a moment to tell pastor Darren Scott a quick word:
ReplyDeleteGod doesn't exist, and Jesus probably never did either. Scott, I'm sorry for your delusion, and for the fact that you are not using your talents for a productive profession (I'm guessing that being a pastor is a paid job). To my eyes, you are a parasite. And what's worse, your stupid belief makes you hurt others, by reinforcing their delusions, and enable them to hurt even more people. Please stop it as soon as possible, and turn your life to a better goal.
Craig - I stumbled on your blog by accident and responded. I will check out more of your blog and apologize for jumping the gun and the lengthy response :). (I don't usually reply to blogs). I am very impressed with your bio and credentials
ReplyDeleteNikolaos - In your eyes we are all "parasites" stuck on an over-heating globe. I respect your opinion and faith in the non-existence of God and Jesus for surely you are a greater man of faith than myself; you sound pretty confident.
Ecclesiastes 8:15 comes to mind "Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die."
Oops, it's Stott (not Scott!)
ReplyDeleteNo, I do not believe what you proclaim I do - nice try though.
The parasite is you, and you alone. You tell people things that are not true, and you take their money. As well-intenioned as you may be, you are causing those people harm.