Icelandic Volcano: It's the Gays Fault!

I'm sorry to say I have it on good authority that the Icelandic volcano's eruption was caused by gays. OK, it wasn't all their fault, the neopaganists share the blame. According to the Association of Orthodox Experts in Moscow,

Is it possible that Europe further abandoning its Christian heritage does not to see that eruption of the Iceland volcano with its ash cloud that paralyzed life of the "most progressive" society is a menacing sign of God? ... [Iceland] has recently become a center of European neo-paganism ... European deputies propose that all states of the Council of Europe should introduce a subject on peculiarities of homosexual behavior in the school curriculum."

Gosh, why can't all the gays and pagans just straighten out and become good, heterosexual Christians? Katrina, the Haitian earthquake, the Icelandic volcano ... why, I wouldn't be surprised if the BP oil spill was somehow their fault too!