According to their ten-point list of goals:
- God is emasculated. Gotta fix that. All that genocide and war was pretty wimpy. Frying Sodom and Gomorra was child's play. Gotta toughen Him up! Show what a mean dude He is!
- It's dumbed down. Yeah, some translations are written for seventh grade readers! Gotta stop that, you can't have just any dummy reading this stuff.
- Keep up with the latest conservative terms. 'Cause you sure don't want anyone to think the Bible is for just anyone. No liberals allowed!
- Emphasize the existence of Hell. Goes along with that emasculation, something you must stop. If God's going to be the tough guy, He's gotta be willing torture us!
- Show how God approves of the Republican Party's economic principles. 'Cause everyone knows that God is a free-market economist. (Forget about all that socialistic sharing stuff Jesus said.)
- Remove recent insertions, like the adultress story. Maybe they should even take Jesus out, since that whole pesky New Testament was inserted later too.
Even the mainstream media (the NY Daily News and US News & World Report) are writing tongue-in-cheek articles that can barely contain their laughter.
And it would be laughable except that these people are both serious, and ignorant about their own precious Bible's history. These guys should study that history more before they announce these lofty, misguided projects. It's sort of embarrassing that a guy like me seems to know more about the Bible's history than they do.