Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Papal Priority: Un-Christian names top the list!

I keep trying to give up writing about Pope Benedict XVI because I don't want to sound like a one-note samba. But then he pulls another one, and I can't help myself.

You'd think with priest pedophilia, prostitution scandals in the Vatican and wars around the world, the Pope would have lots to keep him busy. But apparently there's an even more urgent crisis brewing: Parents are naming their kids with un-Christian names!

Can you imagine? Using a name that's not Biblical? This is a travesty! And the Pope, bless his soul, jumped all over it:
"Every baptised child acquires the character of the son of God, beginning with their Christian name, an unmistakable sign that the Holy Spirit causes man to be born anew in the womb of the Church."
The Pope went on to stress what an un-Christian act it is to name a child after a rock star or TV celebrity. I guess the only celebrities we're allowed to admire are the ones who were lucky enough to live a couple thousand years back so that their names got in the Bible before the roster was closed.

I'm so glad that the leader of the Roman Catholic world has his priorities so clearly defined.


  1. Apparently, God won't be able to identify the good christians when Judgment Day comes, if they are not properly named.

  2. Dear Benedictus,

    I looked in the Bible. No one therein went by the name "Benedictus", or some variation thereof. For the good of Christendom, and indeed your soul, please change your name to one more Biblical.

    Sincerely, etc, etc.

  3. So look out, Abdul Mustafah and Shanique Fatima! You, too, Xiao Ling and Yuki Tsuzuki! No paradise for you! Oh as if!

  4. It's just another sneaky way to try to insert religion into people's lives.

    My son's name is English, and his middle name is Scandinavian. He never has to think about what his name means in Hebrew, or the baggage it carries, like mine does. And I am happy for that.

  5. No papal audience for Moon Unit Zappa.



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