Wednesday, March 9, 2011

God Tells Wisconsin Gov. Walker to Fight Unions

Did you know that God hates unions? Wow, I sure didn't. But thanks to Wisconsin's Governor Walker, I've been enlightened. God hates unions, and He wants Gov. Walker to chase them out of the state!

OK, that's a bit of an extrapolation from what Walker actually said in public. But it's probably not an exaggeration. Walker claims that God talks to him and tells him what to do. And we're not talking about some vague "I feel his guidance" thing. We're talking about real voices in his head.

If it weren't for the God Exemption for sanity, Gov. Scott Walker would be classified as mentally ill. He actually believes that God talks to him on a daily basis. He hears God's voice. Walker actually believes that God told him whom to marry, what jobs to take, and even dictated his political career. Walker prays to God about every decision, and God answers by telling him what to do.

Which is why it's clear that God hates unions, and God wants Scott Walker to chase them out of Wisconsin!

This is scary stuff. How can the rest of us argue with a guy who actually believes that he is doing God's bidding? How can a person like that ever be persuaded that he has made a mistake, or should reconsider his position on an important issue?

If you believe God has commanded this or that, you get locked in to that position. Changing your mind means either God was wrong (unthinkable), or God changed His mind (impossible), or else you weren't really talking to God in the first place. Once God tells you what to do, there's no possibility that you might be wrong.

This sort of thinking has no place in a democratic society.

The real truth is that Gov. Walker makes this stuff up. Even if there was a magical god up in the sky who created the universe, it's the height of hubris to think that he would alter the physical laws of the universe by stimulating electrical signals in Walker's brain in order to take sides in labor-versus-management issue in the State of Wisconsin. What's really happening is that Walker is mistaking his own conservative political drivel for the voice of God.

These holier-than-thou politicians pop up all too often. James Watt (Secretary of the Interior under President Regan) was another famous case. Watt believed that Armageddon is coming, and that God is going to be pissed because we haven't used all the resources He provided for us. Watt reasoned that it was up to us to use up all the forests, burn all the oil and coal, and to hell with endangered species and clean air. How can you reason with someone like that?

So now you know why Governor Scott Walker is such an unrepentant jerk when it comes to ousting the unions. It's because Walker has God on his side, and the unions are nothing more than the Devil's minions.

So, how many of you think we should rescind the First Amendment and let God into our government?


  1. Oh, man. It was bad enough without the supernatural crap.

  2. Ah, this is a great piece. I cracked up a bit, but in reality, I hate that our governor is mental.

  3. Hearing is believing literally OMG! I thought the UK was fairly PC bonkers......but no not one person who has any real power in our 'Democracy' is as weird as that!

  4. This is staggering. I used to think of Wisconsin as a beautiful land, one I was interested in as a future long-term home.

    But this Scott Walker guy is scary. Religious zealots who claim that their decisions come from God are the worst kind of religious folks to me. It's like you said - once they've received God's Word, they either take it to the grave or ultimately decide that God "changed His mind" eventually.

    You know, like when he acts like he wants you to kill your son, but he's just joshing you.

    I think it's a sign of weakness that people rely on Mystial Sky Man to make their decisions for you. How pathetically weak can people BE?

  5. Once again man creates God in his own image. That means God is actually Scott Walker. I'm now going to go eat a whole German Chocolate cake all by myself because the end of the world is definitely nigh.

  6. Edie – James Watt would be proud of you.


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