Armageddon? Or Just an Earthquake?

Here we go again. God screws things up for no apparent reason, kills ten thousand, leaves hundreds of thousands homeless, and we have to clean up after him. He's angry! He's warning us!

Or ... maybe it was just another earthquake.

We need to set a new scientific standard: it's the smallest possible measurable increment of time known to science. It's defined as the almost-infinitesimal interval between when an earthquake ends and some religious ass declares it part of God's divine prophecies in the Holy Bible. Since the Japan earthquake, millions of blogs linking Japan and Biblical prophecy have popped up. It's disgusting.

Here's one of the worst, brought to you by the professional jerk known as Glenn Beck:

You can't see the connections here. I'm not saying God is causing earthquakes. I'm not not saying that either. What God does is God's business. ... But I'll tell you this. Whether you call it Gaia, or whether you call it Jesus, there's a message being sent! And that is, "Hey, you know that stuff we're doing? It's not really working out. Maybe we should stop doing some of it. *laughs* I'm just saying. ... Buckel up! Buckel up 'cause it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Beck ought to be ashamed of himself for capitalizing on the plight of the Japanese.

And so should everyone else who thinks this is Biblical prophecy. It's utter

Dead Birds! God Hates Homos! ... oh wait, the US government killed the birds

Remember that old joke, "Psychic conference cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances"? Well, here's another one.

Over the last few weeks, thousands of birds have fallen from the sky for no apparent reason. But Cindy Jacobs over at the Generals International is a prophet, with not one, but two PhDs in theology! And Dr. Cindy figured it out: God is pissed about that gay marriage thing that Bill Clinton started back in Arkansas that's now now infected our military:

But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas' name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we've had the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell, where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed.

Egads, we should have been more careful! Why, if we'd known God would be so angry, we'd could have kicked all those homosexuals out of our army (never mind that they're brave, dedicated patriots risking their lives for us) and saved ourselves from being hit on the heads by falling birds!

And ... what's that? You say the government poisoned those birds? On purpose? Oops.

It seems the real story is that

Most Incredible Prophecy: Incredible Horse Hooey

I obtained a copy of The Most Incredible Prophecy via an inappropriate proselytizer – a doctor who forces it on her HMO patients! That's unethical, but I figured as long as I had the video it might make good blog material. So I sat down with my Coke and notepad for a good study ...

It's so bad I couldn't even watch it to the end. I hereby nominate the producers and writers to The Liar's Club. It's incredible all right. Incredibly bad science.

Armageddon: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?

Will the biblical prophecy of Armageddon become self-fulfilling? It's a frighteningly real possibility.

Consider this little story, about Mr. John Brandrick of Cornwall, UK, who was told he had just six months to live. Quite sensibly, Mr Brandrick quit his job, sold everything he owned, visited his children, and spent all of his money enjoying life to the fullest. Until, that is, he discovered that the doctors had made a mistake, he was actually quite healthy, just a bit of pancreatitis.

We can chuckle at poor Mr. Brandrick's dilemma – he's happy to be alive, but financially ruined and without a job – but there are MILLIONS of Christians in America today, and many millions worldwide, who are in the exact same boat as Mr. Brandrick. They already believe the End of Times is at hand, and will arrive in their lifetimes. They'll all be taken into the sky, leaving behind all of the mistakes and disasters they've caused.

One of the most frightening examples of real people who are trashing the Earth because of Christianity was James Watt, Secretary of the Interior during Ronald Regan's presidency. Because of his Christian beliefs, Watt was a vigorous opponent of environmentalism, and vastly expanded oil drilling, logging, and mining. He believed that natural resources were put here by God for humans to use, and that it was wrong not to exploit God's gift to the fullest. He famously told Congress, "I do not know how many future generations we can count on before the Lord returns," and an unverified source quotes Watt saying, "After the last tree is felled, Christ will come back."

How can a nation, or a world, possibly make rational decisions when a substantial fraction of its people believe that there is no future?