Friday, December 12, 2008

Christmas in Washington: The Great Land Rush of 2008

Dear Governor Gregoire,

I have a solution to your problem! I'm referring, of course, to the hysterical circus that ensued when you allowed a Christmas display on your state capitol grounds (as I learned from the great commentaries by my fellow bloggers PZ Myers and Atheist Revolution). It seems everybody wants in on the act! Every religion or non-religion wants to be sure THEIR message is displayed your lawn! I can understand how this must upset you.

But there's a simple answer: Governor, just appoint a date and time, when people of all faiths, religions, or no faith, can line up outside your gate with their wagons, loaded with nativity scenes, those nasty atheist signs, Hanukkah menorahs, heaps of flying spaghetti, maybe some trees or something for those druids... Whatever they think their God wants them to display to lure or threaten their fellow citizens into believing their particular brand of superstition.

Then, at the appointed hour, Governor, you can raise your starter's pistol into the air, and BANG! Off they go, racing to claim their 6x12' plot on your front lawn, fighting for the prime real estate. First come, first served! Stake your claim now!

I know it's a nuisance trying to decide who has a legitimate religion and who is just being cranky, Governor, but this will take the problem out of your hands, and put it where it belongs: Back to the pioneering spirit of America! Yes, I know your front lawn might get a bit cluttered, but at least nobody will blame you any more for letting those damned Atheists and Spaghettists put up their signs. It will be out of your hands, just the American Way!

Yours Truly,
A Helpful Citizen

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Dear readers -- I am no longer blogging and after leaving these blogs open for two years have finally stopped accepting comments due to spammers. Thanks for your interest. If you'd like to write to me, click on the "Contact" link at the top. Thanks! -- CJ.

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