Santa Gets It and Jesus Doesn't ...

Santa has a cool live-and-let-live philosophy: my head can be full of all sorts of naughty thoughts as long as I only act on the nice thoughts. I've had plenty of nasty fantasies in my lifetime about what I'd like to do to certain people ... but I didn't carry them out and never would. I've also had lots of nice thoughts and actually done many nice things for lots of people.

In other words, he knows when you've been bad or good. Not when you've thought bad thoughts or thought good thoughts. It's what you do that counts.

So Santa Claus has always been good to me. It's our actions that make us truly moral or immoral citizens of this crazy world, and Santa rewards the people who are good.

What about Jesus Christ? According to Amy Henry's blog, The Flawed Theology of Naughty and Nice Lists, it doesn't much matter what you do. It's what you believe that matters. You can be angry, vengeful, hurtful, even murderous as long as you're truly sorry and ask Jesus for forgiveness.

Amy believes we should beware of Santa's naughty-or-nice philosophy. She thinks it sends kids the wrong message. What really matters, according to Amy, is what's in our hearts. What you actually do is far less important than what you believe.

"... thank God that He doesn’t separate us out into naughty and nice, but places us in one big category called ‘forgiven.’

And Amy isn't alone in this strange theory. It's what Christianity is all about, from the Pope himself down to the meekest shepherd tending goats. Christian morality isn't about what you do, it's about what you believe. If you fail to live up to Christian standards and hurt someone else, Jesus will forgive you. (Never mind that your victim might not feel that you deserve forgiveness.) No matter how awful your sin, and how many you hurt, you can be forgiven if you're truly sorry and believe that Jesus Christ is your savior.

In my book, Christian morality is fundamentally flawed. I'll take Santa Claus morality any day.

Santa Claus tells Pope Benedict XVI: Resign!

In a follow-up to last week's press release by Santa Claus criticizing the Pope for putting children's welfare in second place behind the Roman Catholic Church's reputation, Santa now says Pope Benedict XVI should resign.

"The handwriting is on the wall," said Santa, in a somber departure from his usual joviality. "The Pope will be called to account." Santa points out that recent court decisions are denying the Vatican its traditional immunity. "It is only a matter of time before the Pope and Vatican are compelled by law to submit to criminal investigation, perhaps resulting in the Pope’s arrest."

Santa Claus, who lives at the North Pole, is well know for his pro-children advocacy, and it's refreshing to hear that he has come down solidly on the side of the kids, unlike the Pope who seems to only be concerned with his own reputation.

Santa Claus Slams the Pope!

Santa Claus sticks it to Pope Benedict XVI! But there's a serious message behind the lampoon:

A Christian Bishop, Monk, and child advocate, whose legal name is Santa Claus, is taking Pope Benedict XVI to task, for what Bishop Santa Claus describes as, "the Pope’s continued moral failure to address urgent children's issues within the Roman Catholic Church."

... In the United States, between 1950 and 2009, the Roman Catholic Church has paid more than $2.6 billion to settle claims of abuse by clergy, has obstructed criminal and civil investigations, and often filed for bankruptcy to avoid making court-ordered payments to survivors of clergy abuse. Santa observes that, “The Roman Catholic Church clearly is more concerned with protecting its clergy and assets than protecting vulnerable children."

You can read the entire "news release" here. It's good stuff.

Santa Claus, who always puts his children first, proposes mandatory reporting laws, a one-strike lifetime ban for any priest who molests a child, mandatory fingerprinting of all priests, revoking the tax-exempt status of any church that fails to report abuse, and requiring all priests to take classes in how to detect and report child abuse.

Now here's where we're screwing up as a society. If these rules that Santa Claus proposes were put to Congress, there would be howls of protest! I can just hear it now, a cacophony of spluttering outrage at the insult to our priests. Fingerprinting priests? Treating them like criminals?