The Papal Priority: Un-Christian names top the list!

I keep trying to give up writing about Pope Benedict XVI because I don't want to sound like a one-note samba. But then he pulls another one, and I can't help myself.

You'd think with priest pedophilia, prostitution scandals in the Vatican and wars around the world, the Pope would have lots to keep him busy. But apparently there's an even more urgent crisis brewing: Parents are naming their kids with un-Christian names!

Can you imagine? Using a name that's not Biblical? This is a travesty! And the Pope, bless his soul, jumped all over it:

"Every baptised child acquires the character of the son of God, beginning with their Christian name, an unmistakable sign that the Holy Spirit causes man to be born anew in the womb of the Church."

The Pope went on to stress what an un-Christian act it is to name a

God Made the Big Bang? Does Pope Understand Complexity Theory?

I know the Pope isn't a scientist, but he claims to support science. In fact, the Roman Catholic Church even sponsors evolution conferences! But does the Pope and his the Vatican bureaucrats listen to those scientists, or is it all just for show?

The Pope once again reminded us that even though scientists might be right about the Big Bang, it was God who caused the Big Bang in the first place.

"The universe is not the result of chance, as some would want to make us believe. Contemplating it (the universe) we are invited to read something profound into it: the wisdom of the creator, the inexhaustible creativity of God."

Sorry, your holiness. There's a fundamental principle in nature: Entropy. You can't make a perpetual-motion machine, and you can't create complexity from nothing. A machine that produces energy requires more energy to feed it, and a system that produces complexity also requires energy to feed it.

Here on Earth, the development of life, including our incredibly complex brains, was driven by a staggering influx of solar radation. The sun pours 1.2 gigawatts (that's a billion watts) of energy per square kilometer of Earth. When you consider

Ghost Prostitution: The Discovery Channel and the Catholic Church

I love some of The Discovery Channel's programs, but their ghost-hunter series has always been a huge blight on their reputation. It's pure money-making balderdash, taking advantage of people's gullibility and superstitions to make a buck. I've tried to watch it, but it's so ... stupid. Do people actually fall for that stuff?

Sadly, yes. People still believe in ghosts, and fall for the stupid tricks they pull when producing the show. And I guess I can't blame Discovery Channel for wanting to make money.

But now The Discovery Channel is going too far. They announced a devil's pact with the Roman Catholic Church for an exorcism series. They're sanctioning the mistreatment of mentally ill people and making money from it.

It's pure economic prostitution.

Schizophrenia and other delusional mental disorders are among the worst diseases one can get. They turn the victim's own mind into an instrument of torture, often leaving the patient terrorized and tormented for years, decades and even for life. Modern medicine has made some real progress, giving life and hope back to many patients. But even those who for whom these drugs work are not actually cured; the drugs merely reduce symptoms. The schizophrenic patients lead lives plagued by voices, doubts, anxiety and fear. They frequently can't work, live alone or have normal romantic relationships.

Before we understood schizophrenia and other mental illness, it might have been reasonable

Pope Blows Another Apology, Needs to Return to Kindergarten

Will Pope Benedict XVI ever get it right? Apparently not. His latest attempt to apologize for the priest sex and pedophilia scandal is agonizingly bad. The man either doesn't know how to apologize, or is genuinely not sorry.

I don't know about the Pope's childhood, but way back in kindergarten I learned that there are three parts to a good apology:

1. You have to acknowledge a fault or offense without reservation.
2. You have to say you're sorry and mean it.
3. You must take responsibility for the consequences and try to put it right.

Simple, right? Everyone knows this.

Except maybe His Holiness. His latest failed apology was given during his traditional meeting with the cardinals:

Pope Reaffirms It: All you Gays are Immoral

Sadly, but not surprisingly, Pope Benedict XVI has just reconfirmed that homosexuality can never be "morally just."

All of you gays and lesbians, sorry, but your sexuality is "against the nature that God originally willed." It's still an abomination.

But wait, there's good news! Your God-given sexual preference is "a great trial." God has singled you out, sort of like Job. The Pope himself said so!

Remember Job? Job was your basic good guy: pious, kind and loyal. But God took a bet with Satan as to whether Job was just a fair-weather friend. To test Job's mettle, God let Satan kill all of Job's children, and when that didn't turn Job away from God, Satan tortured Job with boils all over his body that were so horrible that Job tried to scrape them with broken pottery. And after all that, Job still didn't turn away from God.

So don't think of yourselves as getting some sort of raw deal. God has given you a test! You get to go through life longing for love, but God demands that you deny yourself the consummation of your love, to never join body and soul and experience the wonders and beauty of human sexuality. Just think what an opportunity this is to show what a good Catholic you are!

Why, the rest of us should be jealous. We've got it easy. We get to fall in love, get married and have happy, healthy sex lives. What's the challenge in that? How are we supposed to show God that we're worthy?

Kicking the Pope Around ... Again.

After losing the California governor's race in 1962, Richard Nixon gave his famous reply, "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore..." He blamed the media, rather than his own arrogance and poorly run campaign, for the loss.

When is Pope Benedict XVI going to give us the same pleasure? When is modern history's most unloved Pope going to do the right thing and resign his corrupt reign of indifference? Even Santa Claus wants Benedict to resign!

The Pope's remarks to a UK audience yesterday in which he compared modern atheists and secularists to Hitler are so pathetic it challenges my ability to make a witty remark. Doesn't he know about Godwin's Law? By mentioning Hitler, he automatically lost the debate and he doesn't even know it!

What seems to concern Benedict today? Could it be the safety of our children?

Santa Claus tells Pope Benedict XVI: Resign!

In a follow-up to last week's press release by Santa Claus criticizing the Pope for putting children's welfare in second place behind the Roman Catholic Church's reputation, Santa now says Pope Benedict XVI should resign.

"The handwriting is on the wall," said Santa, in a somber departure from his usual joviality. "The Pope will be called to account." Santa points out that recent court decisions are denying the Vatican its traditional immunity. "It is only a matter of time before the Pope and Vatican are compelled by law to submit to criminal investigation, perhaps resulting in the Pope’s arrest."

Santa Claus, who lives at the North Pole, is well know for his pro-children advocacy, and it's refreshing to hear that he has come down solidly on the side of the kids, unlike the Pope who seems to only be concerned with his own reputation.

Finally a Vatican Crackdown! ... on shorts and tank tops.

Sometimes I get weary of the stories of the Vatican, but how can I let this one go by? It seems the Vatican is finally cracking down on immorality! But not by getting rid of its pedophile priests and those who shielded them. Oh no.

The Vatican is concerned about the Vatican Dress Code! That's right. No more shorts for men (gotta wear pants!). No more tank tops for women! Keep those shoulders covered!

Yeah, that's the ticket. Show some real morality!

Vatican Screws Up, Fires Half of its Priests

Vatican officials today made the "shocking" discovery that they'd accidentally ordered almost all of their priests to quit, apparently due to a bureaucratic snafu that insiders attribute to poor interdepartmental communication.

The calamity started earlier this week when Panorama, a weekly Italian magazine, published a huge exposé (not safe for work, adult content) The Wild Night of Gay Priests... (here's the English translation).

The calamity started when the Roman Diocese urged the gay priest to "leave the closet" and the priesthood too. But someone forgot to tell the Diocese that somewhere between 50% (the low estimate) and 98% of the priests in the Vatican are gay. Word finally got through but by then it was too late – the halls were empty, and the Pope couldn't find even one priest to bring him his morning coffee.

OK, enough poking fun. The Panorama exposé really did happen,

UK Govt Changes Law To Prevent Pope's Arrest

England has always been a leader in human rights and the rule of law. Now they've thought of something new: Put a politician in the courtroom!

Children in the UK and particularly Ireland, which is heavily Catholic, have been hard hit by the pedophile priests who lurked in the Roman Catholic Church, and then were protected from prosecution by church seniors including Cardinal Ratzinger, who is now the Pope. There is some strong evidence that Ratzinger was directly complicit in shielding priests from prosecution, and worse, for allowing them to move from parish to parish, abusing more and more children. It's likely that Ratzinger is personally responsible for a number of children's nightmare sexual abuse at the hands of a Roman Catholic priest that Ratzinger protected.

Now, quite reasonably, some Brits want Ratzinger to answer for his deeds. The UK apparently has a law that allows a private prosecutor to take up a case when the public prosecutor can't or won't. A private prosecutor can provide evidence to a judge and, if the evidence is strong enough, have the alleged criminal arrested.

Well, no more. The UK government is in the process of changing the law:

Catholic Priorities: Forget Pedophiles, Get Those Atheists!

Here's a story that typifies Pope Benedict XVII:

(AP) "VATICAN CITY — Pope Benedict XVI is creating a new Vatican office to fight secularization and "re-evangelize" the West — a tacit acknowledgment that his attempts to reinvigorate Christianity in Europe haven't succeeded and need a new boost."

Never mind about those pedophile priests. Forget about AIDS in Africa and the Pope's role in spreading it. Pay no attention to those pesky Belgian police who keep raiding your church records to root out your crimes.

No, the real problem is those atheists and secularists! Why, the Church needs a whole new office to fight secularization! It's obviously the only problem facing the Roman Catholic Church worthy of serious action!

It's stuff like this that makes me predict that the Roman Catholic Church will fade into obscurity in the next couple of decades. It has become self-perpetuating.

Oldest Known Paintings of Catholic Saints Include Naked Boys!

This one is too funny to let pass.

ROME – Twenty-first century laser technology has opened a window into the early days of the Catholic Church ... the first known icons of the apostles Peter and Paul. Vatican officials unveiled the paintings Tuesday, discovered along with the earliest known images of the apostles John and Andrew in an underground burial chamber ... The images, which date from the second half of the 4th century, were uncovered using a new laser technique that allows restorers to burn off centuries of thick white calcium carbonate deposits without damaging the brilliant dark colors of the paintings underneath. ... [The] gem is on the ceiling, where the four apostles [Paul, Peter, John and Andrew] are painted inside gold-rimmed circles against a red-ochre backdrop.

The ceiling is also decorated with geometric designs, and the cornices feature images of naked youths.

Gosh, it seems like modern Roman Catholic pedophile priests are just following a long and honorable tradition, started by St. Paul himself!

Ok, I know that ideas about nudity and the human body were much more natural back in Roman times,

Pope: Abortion, Gay Marriage are "Most Insidious" Problems Facing the World

What worries the Pope the most?

Could it be the AIDS crisis in Africa, for which he is partly to blame, that will kill tens of millions of people? Nah, that doesn't bother the Pope much.

Maybe he's worried about global warming, which threatens hundreds of millions of the world's poorest people with starvation, flooding and disease? No, that's not it either.

What about the fact that North Korea and Iran are developing nuclear weapons, and so many other countries like Israel, Pakistan and India already have them? No, wrong again.

Or maybe the Pope is concerned about terrorism? Does the Pope worry that terrorists could kill thousands, and maybe trigger another war like Iraq in which another 150,000 innocent civilians will be killed? No, that doesn't seem to worry the Pope.

Then it must be the pedophilia crisis, where the Pope's own priests and bishops molested tens of thousands of little kids? Surely that's top on the Popes list of horrible things. Right? Wrong!

The biggest crisis in the world is homosexual marriage and abortion! Got that?? According to Pope Benedict XVI, gay marriage and abortion are among the most "insidious and dangerous" threats in the world today.

The Pope worries that terminating a pregnancy when the fetus has no brain, not even any nerve cells, is a crime equivalent to terrorism. Can he truly believe that a young, desperate unmarried woman who has made a terrible mistake and seeks an abortion to prevent an even greater tragedy is a "more insidious" danger to the world than Osama bin Laden?

If two men or two women love each other and want to make a life together as a committed couple, the Pope says that their love is a threat to society.

An Atheist Wishes He Was Catholic

I wish I could be Catholic for a while. Then maybe I could raise my voice and actually be heard.

Right now the Catholic Church has a monstrous problem: The laity seems to be a flock of sheep, willing to follow the shepherd when he's keeping the wolves at bay, but when some of them see that same shepherd doing naughty things to his flock, they're ... well, they're sheep. They're not standing up for what's right. They're not raising their voices, marching on their churches, and condemning the vile deeds they see.

I suppose that makes sense. After all, Catholicism has, at its core, the belief that the Pope is actually God's personal representative here on Earth. It's hard to criticize the Pope, because it means God Himself made a mistake.

If any one thing brings the Roman Catholic Church to the ground, it will be the complacency of the laity. Priests, bishops, archbishops and the Pope are just men, with the same virtues and flaws as the rest of us. They do good deeds and they make mistakes. The problem is that laity, the common folks with common virtues and common sense, have been brainwashed all of their lives to overlook these flaws.

Celibacy IS the Issue: The Catholic Elephant

Did you know that only two percent of Catholic Priests keep their vow of celibacy?

"Survey and statistics that show only two percent of priests have been absolutely faithful to their vows of celibacy. Adjustment problems abound as demonstrated by repeated reports of priests abandoning their callings, fathering children, being charged with child molestation."

This is from a thesis written almost twenty years ago, back in 1992, entitled Celibacy Is the Issue by Thomas G. Lederer, which explains and predicts the current crisis of pedophilia in the Catholic Church.

Here are a couple interesting quotes.

"In late 1990, A.W. Richard Sipe's book, A Secret World – Sexuality and the Search for Celibacy, caused a veritable flood of controversy. The author, psychotherapist stated that that at least half the U.S. Priests at any given time are involved in some pattern of sexual activity."

Why Can't Just One Priest Admit, I'm Guilty, I'm Sorry?

Just when you think the Catholic Church pedophilia scandal could get no worse, with the scandal brushing the Pope himself, yet another even worse story breaks. This one is truly horrifying.

The Church decided to dump pedophile priests into the remote villages of Native Alaskan and Canadian villages. Out of sight, out of mind. Unless you were one of hundreds, maybe thousands, of Native Eskimo children who were molested or raped. The numbers are staggering: "They knew of 345 cases of molestation in Alaska by 28 perpetrators who came from at least four different countries." There were so many pedophile priests in these small communities that at least one girl was raped by two different priests.

And rather than an exile for these pedophiles, it became a virtual paradise of unaccountability. Warning: The following will make you sick. You should stop reading now if you don't want to ruin your day.

Pope Benedict XVI: The Heat is Turned Up

The Vatican is starting to feel more heat for Ratzinger (aka Pope Benedict XVI). In just a couple days, it's gone from a NY Times story to a worldwide scandal that is engulfing the Pope himself. Here are the headlines:

Pope Benedict faces child abuse cover-up queries - BBC
Abuse Scandal's Ripples Spread Across Europe – New York Times
Vatican defends decision not to defrock U.S. priest – Reuters
Vatican says it was unaware of alleged American priest abuse – CNN
Vatican halted trial for man accused by deaf boys – Associated Press
Pope 'failed to discipline US priest' who abused deaf children – The Guardian
Pope “failed to act” over abuse – Aljazeera.net
Father Murphy, molester of deaf children – beliefnet.com

These and dozens more headlines are what happens to a religion that utterly denies our human sexuality.

Pope Benedict XVI: "The Stench of Evil"

The Irish are rightfully angry at the Pope's newest apology for his priests raping their children – his holiness seems good at abject grovelling, but the Irish have noticed that the Pope forgot to kick any of his priests and bishops in the ass. The Irish might understandably want a few priests kicked forcibly out the door, but the Pope apparently forgot.

But if the latest allegations against the Pope himself prove true, things are going to get mighty interesting. It looks like the vicar of Christ on Earth himself was responsible for protecting the very priests who went on to commit some of these terrible crimes.

Did you know that a priest or bishop can be excommunicated for revealing a sex crime to law-enforcement authorities, but not for raping a child? Think about that: two men show up at the Pearly Gates. "Next! What's your sin?" "I raped a child, but I'm really sorry." "No prob, come on in. Next! What's your sin?" "I turned that last guy in to the police." "You jerk! Sinner! You traitor against Christ's own Church! Get out of here!! GOD WON'T FORGIVE YOU!"

And who do you suppose was responsible for this? Why, Archbishop Joseph Ratzinger, the man who is now the Pope.

Catholic Church Murders Thousands in the Philippines

The Catholic Church is determined to kill more people. I guess it isn't enough that their priests are raping little kids, and that a gay prostitution ring was discovered operating in the Vatican servicing bishops.

No, that's not enough for The Church, so now they've decided to give AIDS to a bunch of young people in the Philippines by blocking the distribution of condoms.

This is beyond immoral. It borders on genocide.

It's a simple fact that if the Church succeeds in this endeavor, literally thousands, possibly tens of thousands of people will die of AIDS. It's black and white. We know that healthy, happy people have sex. We know that young people can be irresponsible and impulsive and that some of them will get AIDS. And we also know that if condoms are not readily available, more people will die.

Vatican Slams Avatar? HaHaHaHa!

You'd think the Vatican, with its long history of being on the wrong side of the facts (not to mention its reputation as a bastion of illogical thinking), would have the good sense to keep quiet when a SciFi pro-environment movie is rapidly climbing into the all-time number one slot as the highest-grossing movie in history. But then, why should the Roman Catholic Church break its two-thousand-year record of being wrong?

According to a report on Huffington Post, the Vatican news organizations claim Avatar is "flirting with the idea that worship of nature can replace religion – a notion the pope has warned against." Apparently the Pope is pro-environmentalism, but is afraid of it turning into some sort of neo-paganism. You know, where people worship some of the other of the 16,000 to 20,000 gods that humans have invented over the millenia rather than picking the right one. (In case you're confused, the right god to worship is the one called Jehova, Yahweh, Allah, El and a couple other names. Or maybe those were different gods, but we got confused. I don't know, ask the Pope, he's the expert.)

I don't know about you, but I'm not a guy who turns to the Vatican for advice when I'm deciding whether to see a SciFi movie.

In case you haven't seen it yet, Avatar is GREAT. We're going to see it again soon while it's still in 3D theaters. And see it in IMax if you can!