Learn Quantum Jumping, get money and fame from alternate universes!

What to do, what to do ... some days I get sick of reading about Michelle Bachmann, Dominionism, child-molesting priests, the New Apostolic Reform, and atheist signs by the freeways.

I know, let's do some Quantum Jumping! We can all jump into an alternate universe and find out what other versions of ourselves are doing! I don't have to write a blog, I'll just find another version of Craig A. James who has more initiative and creativity than this version of me!

Welcome to the Infinite You

Quantum Jumping is a visualization process where you use your mind to ‘jump’ into parallel dimensions, and gain creativity, knowledge, wisdom, skills and inspiration from alternate versions of yourself.

... Max Planck, said that “all matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particles of an atom to vibration which holds the atom together. ... If Quantum Theory is correct, it implies that to change your current reality, all you need to do is change the frequency of your thoughts.

Oh, wait, there's one more thing you need to do to change your reality. You need to buy the guy's DVD series for only $97 (price slashed from $397!).

I'm constantly amazed at how people can

They Found the Nails Used to Crucify Jesus!

Does anyone actually believe this stuff?

"Film claims discovery of nails from Jesus's cross"

Come on, people. This guy is going to lose his shirt on this film. Nobody could believe such baloney. Right?

But then I remembered that eBay auction that netted $28,000 for a ten-year-old grilled cheese sandwich with Jesus's image in the toast.

Sadly, nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the public, or overestimating their gullibility. And when it comes to images of Jesus and the Virgin Mary, religious people go crazy. They're starving for confirmation, for

Dead Birds! God Hates Homos! ... oh wait, the US government killed the birds

Remember that old joke, "Psychic conference cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances"? Well, here's another one.

Over the last few weeks, thousands of birds have fallen from the sky for no apparent reason. But Cindy Jacobs over at the Generals International is a prophet, with not one, but two PhDs in theology! And Dr. Cindy figured it out: God is pissed about that gay marriage thing that Bill Clinton started back in Arkansas that's now now infected our military:

But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas' name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we've had the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell, where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed.

Egads, we should have been more careful! Why, if we'd known God would be so angry, we'd could have kicked all those homosexuals out of our army (never mind that they're brave, dedicated patriots risking their lives for us) and saved ourselves from being hit on the heads by falling birds!

And ... what's that? You say the government poisoned those birds? On purpose? Oops.

It seems the real story is that

African Missionaries Exorcise Schizophrenic - Doing Satan's work in God's name

The Mission News Network has a serious article about an exorcism in Africa. This idiocy might be funny except for two things. First, these ignoramuses are allowed to vote and carry guns, which is kind of scary. And second, it's 100% obvious that this is a tragic case of schizophrenia.

From the "news" report:

"South Asia is riddled with cases of people who are possessed by demons. Visible spiritual warfare is very much alive, and the only way to end it is with prayer.

"A 17-year-old boy in South Asia was recently taken over by demons and subsequently became extremely violent. Much like the possessed man coming from the tombs in the Gospel of Mark, this young man had to be chained down to bind his unnatural strength.

"When a Gospel for Asia-supported missionary met the boy and his family, he explained to the frightened family what was wrong with their son. He then went on to share the Gospel with the family, helping them to understand that the only way their son would be freed was through faith in Jesus and prayer."

The article goes on to claim that the boy is cured,

Catholics and Scientologists: Two of a Kind

There is a feature article about Scientology in the New York Times, which on the face of it says a lot about the decline of Scientology. The terror they once inspired in reporters has waned, they're hardly more than a paper tiger now.

But the article reminded me of something cool: Catholics and Scientologists have a lot in common. This statement will horrify most good Catholics, who look on Scientology as nothing more that quackery and fraud dressed up dressed up in voodoo pseudo-science religion. (I suppose Scientologists would be horrified to learn that they're really just the new Roman Catholic Church, too.)

What is it that binds these two? They believe that they can tell God what to do, and he'll actually do it. They teach that a priest here on Earth can excommunicate someone, and God will honor it. They actually believe that some guy down here on Earth has control of your fate, that if some church guy declares you a persona non grata, you're banned from Heaven forever, denied eternal life, to either die or go to Hell.

The sheer arrogance of it is stunning. It's an insult to the concept of God.

Press Release: Homeopaths Admit it was a Joke, Apologize

Today, in a stunning announcement, the North American Society of Homeopaths (NASH) admitted that the whole field of medicine called homeopathy was a big joke that got out of hand. "We were surprised how many people fell for it," said Manfred Mueller, NASH president, "I mean, who could seriously believe that some herb, diluted a thousand times less than a thimble-full mixed up in the Earth's oceans, could actually do anything?"

Liz Bonfig, Executive Director, told reporters that the joke all came apart when the British Parliament's report from the Science and Technology Committee finally came out. "We knew people would catch on one day, but the joke went on for years and years. Who would have thought we could keep it up this long?"

But with the Parliament's report, and the British government's recommendation to stop funding homeopathy, it was too hard to look patients in the eye without bursting out laughing. "We've been keeping a straight face for too long now, it was time to have a good laugh," said Bonfig.

Yoga sex scandal reveals more quack medicine

I was about to give another "ho, hum" when I read of yet another sex scandal by a purported religious/spiritual leader. Ilichi Lee, a yoga leader, is accused of seducing his female followers ... what else is new? And even when I read that he's accused of bilking followers out of money using heavy-handed tactics, it was just another story. That's pretty much what all churches do, he just took it farther than most.

But then I read this on CNN:

Dahn Yoga teaches that what it calls brain wave vibration can ease some of the debilitating symptoms of illnesses such as diabetes and arthritis.

This is nonsense, pure bad science!

Religion disguised as medicine or science is inexcusable. My faithful reader know this a hot topic for me. (I've written about this before, also see Don Imus' cancer, or Christian Science, and schizophrenia).

Yoga, at least the popular activity that's practiced in America, is a great form of meditation and exercise, and teaches good lifestyle habits. What we call "yoga" is derived from Buddhism, Hinduism and Jainism, and emphasizes mind-body balance, peaceful contemplation, and meditation. These are all good things.

But when any religion claims to cure a disease, they're risking people's lives. Arthritis is merely painful, but ignoring diabetes can be deadly.

If I told you that you could improve or cure your diabetes using some unproved drug or technique, I'd probably be in trouble for practicing medicine without a license. Why are religions exempt from legal scrutiny and prosecution when they do the same thing?

Ilichi Lee, you should stick to seducing women and taking obscene amounts of money from your followers, but don't try to be a doctor, OK?